For a great number of parents who end up tangled in the system, our children are the only thing keeping us from our own destruction. We get up every morning knowing that they depend on us. We feel that without them we would have no reason to care if we did anything. They become our motivation to do good and be productive members of society.
When the state interferes by removing them, we often lose that drive to continue trying. We lose hope and our thought then become Why? What reason is there to keep going. In the end it results in parents becoming the exact thing the agency falsely claimed we were to remove them in the first place.
Interference by the state in removing children from parents often times creates problems that didn’t exist at all, or intensifies minor issues that may have been handled simply by some other means. When removal occurs and we are only allowed visits, we lose the ability to function as parents on a daily basis especially in case where reunification does not occur immediately. We become accustomed to the so called “freedom” of not having our children to care for daily and so often times we become unable to return to doing so properly. Removal creates broken homes, with broken families and broken parents trying to raise traumatized children if they are returned to us at all.
For those unfortunate parents who’s rights are terminated and ties with their children are completely severed, they lose part of themselves that nothing can ever replace. They can never truly be whole again. There will always be a hole that prevents them from ever being happy. This, in turn, causes them to “float” through life not really knowing which direction to go or having a reason to even care. Parents who once were active, outstanding members of society are now something like vagabonds or outcasts and lose all hope for a better tomorrow.
If a murderer on trial in court shows no expression or remorse for the crime committed, people are apt to believe he deserves harsh punishment. If a parent shows emotion and sadness or anger over our children being taken, we are labeled as mentally unstable and therefore unfit. Any parent who genuinely loves their children, will naturally have an extreme emotionally response to this. Personally I would be concerned with any parent who did not have emotions over the loss of their children. To me those would be the parents I would question more. No emotion or lack of are warning signs of narcissism which most often leads to some form of abuse.
Narcissists abuse their children and those around them in sometimes covert ways. These are usually the most damaging forms of abuse. Causing far greater trauma for those subjected to it than any other “issues” that may exist.
It is negligent behavior on the part of school professionals, therapists, judges, and many other authority figures when facts are not verified and heresy is accepted with no real proof. This negligence causes far more trauma than the problem that they claim as the reason for the removal to begin with. 80% or more of all removals are unfounded and in almost every case it causes even more trauma than existed prior to involvement.
Cyn
Perfectly Imperfect 